arthur r.
I grew up as a closeted traumatized kid. I've had physical abuse, sexual abuse, the dogma of what it is to be lower class African American and dogmas of religion crammed down my throat as a child. I've also spent a little time in foster homes. There were many times I thought of not existing anymore.I won't disclose if attempts were made or not. I could go on and on painting pictures of distress and melancholy.
Fast forward years later I'm in my forties with a lovely wife and two beautiful daughters and there is a part of me that is terrified. I know all the pain,despair and anger that I was taught and inherited from my formative years.I am afraid of my programming. I can feel my knee jerk reactions to lash out in ways that I saw as a child.I was even afraid to help my kids with homework because of the punishments I've witnessed dealt out over schoolwork. Sometimes I would morph into a demon to my wife whenever I was triggered, and I didn't even really understand what my triggers were. Thoughts of not existing would echo in me. I was already on antidepressants but they weren't greatly effective for me. Due to personal reasons of the side effects I weaned myself off and started researching alternative medicines. This led me to forest medicine which then led me to Ivan and Lana. I've experienced two ceremonies with Intronaut and both have had profound and life altering effects for me. I will share my first ceremonial experience .
I was very nervous and a bit apprehensive but upon entering the facility I was warmly greeted with hugs, smiles and sincerity from the angels (staff). The wisdom of Ivan and Lana complimented each other beautifully encompassing yin and yang. Every activity served a divine purpose to assist in the healing process : intention setting, discussion, breath work, medicine and integration.We were masterfully guided through the medicine and the angels were there to assist and provide comfort if needed. For me this was a very profound event. I found so much needed clarity and understanding from this ceremony, and became able to self identify myself seperate from my traumas. In the past I unintentionally wore my traumas like a suit and I wasn't aware that I put that suit on everyday, it had become a part of me. My self identity was formulated in those traumas.
My biggest fear was passing those traumas down to my daughters. Oftentimes I would stand on eggshells when dealing with my daughters because I was a bit paralyzed by fear. My imagination would play out scenarios of rage and punishments for things that would have meant real life terror for the little six year old boy in me. One of the first things I did when I got back from the ceremony was apologize to my oldest daughter.There was this one time during a heated moment I almost lost control and was going to beat my daughter. After the ceremony I realized that even though my intention was needed discipline, this cycle of pain and hurt would only repeat itself if I couldn't release it. I explained to my daughter that it was the pain in me that sought release and maybe there was a part of me that unintentionally wanted to inflict pain because pain was given to me... she understood.
Today we have a great relationship. I can laugh and joke with them. We can have intimate conversations and I am much more aware of my emotional and spiritual state. I can even help them with homework without feelings of apprehension. In hindsight I was a pressure cooker even though not intentionally I was going to burn and scar the people I love the most and that it is no way to live nor raise a family. I get delight from seeing my young ones exude the self assurance that I never had at their age. In a very instrumental way Intronaut has played a key role in me breaking generational curses. I implore any of you that are reading this if you are considering services with Intronaut, do it, and go with an open heart ,open mind and genuine intention. There are gifts on the other side. Blessings
-Arthur R.